Murphy's Law | The Best Of

It has always been famous. And it always finds itself relevant to any context. Had once read the 3-in-1 volume "The Complete Murphy's Law" by Arthur Bloch. Got hands on it again yesterday flipped through the pages. It is one of the funniest easy going types book and yet so sincerely true to such an extent.

Murphy's Law explains the truth of man's existence: that if anything can go wrong, it will.

There are hundreds of laws quoted inside but a few of them definitely deserve a mention here. The compilation is the manifestation of the wit and wisdom of some of the most demented technologists, bureaucrats, humanists and anti-social observers, prepared and presented with the purpose of providing us all with a little Karmic Relief.

Some of my favourites below:

RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

WILLOUGHBY'S LAW

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

JOHNSON'S THIRD LAW

If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue which contained the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read.
Corollary:

All of your friends either missed it, lost it or threw it out.

LUBARSKY'S LAW OF CYBERNETIC ENTOMOLOGY

There's always one more bug.

SPARK'S RULES FOR THE PROJECT MANAGER

1.Strive to look tremendously important.

2. Attempt to be seen with important people.

3.Speak with authority.

4. Don't engage in arguments, but if cornered, ask an irrelevant question and lean back with a satisfied grin while your opponent tries to figure out what's going on - then quickly change the subject.

5. Listen intently while others are arguing the problem. Pounce on a trite statement and bury them with it.

6. If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had lost his senses. When he looks down, paraphrase the question back to him.

7. Walk at a fast pace when out of the office - this keeps questions from subordinates and superiors at a minimum.

H.L. MENCKEN'S LAW

Those who can - do.

Those who cannot - teach.
Martin's Extension:

Those who cannot teach - administrate.

KATZ'S LAW

Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

ETORRE'S OBSERVATION

The other line moves faster.
OBRIEN'S VARIATION ON ETORRE'S OBSERVATION

If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.
Kenton's Corollary:

Switching back screws up both lines and makes everybody angry.

LAWS OF APPLIED TERROR

1. When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important ones will be illegible.

2. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

3. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed or about the one book you didn't read.

4. If you are given n open-book exam, you will forget your book.

BREDA'S RULE

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

KNOX'S PRINCIPLE OF STAR QUALITY

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favourite team, he fades.

Whenever you team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

HADLEY'S LAW OF CLOTHING SHOPPING

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size.

2. If you like it and it's in your size, it doesn't fit anyway.

3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it.

4. If you like it, it fits and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wear it.

FINMAN'S BARGAIN BASEMENT PRINCIPLE

The one you want is never the one on sale.

BALLANCE'S LAW OF RELATIVITY

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.